Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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