is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
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I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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