nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i would punch a child for taco bell
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
