Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
