Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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