My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
