never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
