Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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