Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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