You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
