You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
