You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
