i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
