Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
