that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
