C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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