if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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