my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
