Do vagina's smell?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
