My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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