Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
third nipple confirmed
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
