If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
