she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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