For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
