I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
