Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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