Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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