The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize