I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He has the fingertips of a God
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