you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When did angry sex become our thing?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
