I look better un-naked...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
