I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Found your dick twin last night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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