He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
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If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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