i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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