it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
