If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
barbara walters just said penis...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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