Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
