omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
