I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
