i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Bring me that man meat
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
