Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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