I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
