i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
