You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I want is dick and wine.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
