We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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