That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
