Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
