Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
