She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
