Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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