I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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