Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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