My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
