Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
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She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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