you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
