dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
